We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
