I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Randomize
