im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Randomize
