It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
Randomize
