So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
