Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
If I die, sorry about rent.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Randomize
