Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
