Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Randomize
