Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
