I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
