I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
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