I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Randomize
