i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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