i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
