Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
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