Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
