a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
he laminated a picture of his dick.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
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