I just made out with a guy for $7.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
