We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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