Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
he fucked my hip out of place.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Randomize
