my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
