What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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