Porn is love you can see.
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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