I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
