Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Randomize
