jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. �Hello 29...
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Randomize
