He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Randomize
