maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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