I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
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