I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
You made out with two different species that night
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
