I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Randomize
