you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
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