i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
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