Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
