it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
you guys were way drunker than both of me
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Randomize
