Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
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