I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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