I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Sorry about my life...
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
