the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Randomize
