I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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