my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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