I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Randomize
