im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Randomize
