And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize
