He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
