wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Did we literally take a cab across the street
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Randomize
