Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
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