HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
