Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
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