i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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