Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Randomize
